We interrupt the hectic wedding planning to wish our Little Giant a Happy 11-Month birthday!
Can you believe it?! I can’t!
Well, remember the small, intimate wedding we were going to have on Saturday?
Well, it isn’t so small any more. After talking about it, My Partner and I both decided that we wanted to be surrounded with the people who are important in our lives (not including our family and friends who live too far to come on such short notice).
So we’re up to 40 guests!
Thankfully we have a friend staying with us who has been helping me with Oliver, which allows me to run around and do the errands I need to do. I think almost everything is taken care of as far as purchasing. The food is ordered (we’re having some Greek appetizers (spanikopita, hummous, grape leaves) and then Armenia food (kabobs, rice, bulgar, and fatoush)), most of the beverages are purchased, and the favors are almost done (I made 116 fondant-covered cookies in the shapes of fall leaves and acorns). Oh, and the new outfits have been purchased and washed (and need just a touch-up with the iron).
Yesterday we met with Faith, our officiant, and I have to say I feel much calmer after having talked with her about what our ceremony will look like. There are going to be a couple of really cool touches that I’ll tell you about after the fact. (Can you believe it, I’m keeping a secret!)
Tomorrow I do the baking for the cakes and will hopefully get the fillings and icings done. We’re having two flavors of cake: Kahlua Fudge cake with hazelnut mousse and caramel icing and Almond Sour Cream cake with lemon curd and raspberry icing.
Our friend leaves on Thursday night so I need to have most of the cake done by then since I won’t have much time on Friday. I remember when Oliver first came home to us and I was able to put him in his bouncy seat on the counter and do cakes. Not anymore! The kid is like the Tazmanian devil: never in one place for too long and leaving a path of destruction where ever he goes! So most of my day on Friday will be spent trying to corral him.
But it should all work out fine. I’m not letting myself stress too much about any of this because as y’all have pointed out, it’s not the wedding that’s important, it’s the marriage!
We have one friend who is taking photos and another who is videotaping so there will be lots of pics and possibly some video for me to post, after I recuperate of course!
And we’re gonna get married…
It’s official I guess, we’re getting married. Although not in a chapel. And it’s a bit of a shotgun wedding sans pregnancy.
Those darn Yes On 8 people have forced our hand and I’m nervous that our state constitution is actually going to get amended. So before that can happen and we have the right to marry taken from us, I guess we’ll quick get married while it’s still legal. Although it really does put a cloud over the whole affair. Oh well… Gotta make hay while the sun is shining I guess. It’ll be the first time in my life I haven’t procrastinated on something. Although, with 3 days to spare I guess it’s not exactly well-planned!
So far, we have our marriage license, we have an officiant (my friend Faith is going to do it!), and we have a date: Saturday November 1, 2008.
Other than that: nada!
It’s going to be a very small affair with less than ten people, actually ten including us! Well, eleven with Oliver.
No idea what we’re doing, wearing, eating. It’s enough to give a control freak a headache!
It’s not what I expected my wedding to be like, but I guess maybe no one’s wedding is what they imagine.
Wish me luck on the preparations! I don’t even know where to begin…
I just received this email from No On Prop 8:
Yesterday, donors and supporters of Equality California began receiving threatening letters for their support of the statewide organizations efforts to protect LGBT youth and seniors from the “Yes on 8″ campaign leadership.
These letters threatened to “expose” the donors listed on Equality California’s website if they don’t donate to the “Yes on 8″ campaign and refrain from supporting LGBT equality in the future.
In any other circumstance I would characterize this despicable strategy as sad — but we are in the fight of lives here in California.
So, will you stand with us? Will you make a donation to support equality?
Make a donation today to show the other side that we will not go back to the closet of inequality.
The letter, sent on their campaign letterhead, was signed by four members of the group’s executive committee and suggests our donors withdraw their support for their own good. It demands an equivalent donation or else:
“Were you to elect not to donate comparably, it would be a clear indication that you are in opposition to traditional marriage. You would leave us no other reasonable assumption. The names of any companies…that choose not to donate…to ProtectMarriage.com…will be published.
…We will contact you shortly to discuss your contribution.”
It is signed by members of the Yes on 8 campaign executive committee:
- Ron Prentice, campaign chairman
- Edward Dolejsi, executive director of the California Catholic Conference (the Official Voice of the Catholic Community in California)
- Mark Jansson, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
- Andrew Pugno, lawyer for ProtectMarriage.com.
This outrageous attempt to raise money by using threats reveals their true agenda: permanently to harm the LGBT community, our organizations, our allies and our supporters.
Donate now and send a message to the other side — We reject your effort to intimidate us, and we reject your shameful lies. We will fight to protect our freedom.
Please forward this message to everyone you know, and ask them to stand with us too.
We will not give in to these un-American ways of bullying and lies. We call on all Californians to reject these McCarthy-like tactics.
For those interested, there is also a story in the San Francisco Gate that corroborates this information.
And just because I can’t stand to post only their garbage, here is a really beautiful and wonderfully done video from some families in South Pasadena.
We’re members of an organization called The Pop Luck Club (like Joy Luck Club, but with Pops!).
The emails have been flying within the last couple of days sharing the news that the race for Prop 8 was basically tied (one poll was cited stating that the No camp was within 3% of the Yes camp, which was considered within the error margin and hence tied for all intents and purposes). This in itself was bit depressing given that at one point Prop 8 was expected to be defeated by a pretty substantial margin.
Unfortunately, it seems the tide has changed even more and the Yes On Prop 8 side is slowly gaining votes, mostly due to their ad campaigns that posit lies about children having to be taught about gay marriage in schools, churches losing their exempt status, and California otherwise falling off into the ocean never again to be seen (that last one may be me exaggerating).
It seems the lies that are being broadcast are being believed by voters and people are actually changing their minds from being against the proposition to supporting it (based on anecdotal evidence shared by other PLC members who have been phone banking and talking to these wahoos voters).
Nevermind that you can go into the voter registration guide to find out exactly what the proposition says and will allow.
Nevermind that California passed legislation a while ago giving parents the final say in what their kids are taught (or not) regardless sex ed.
So I’m a bit depressed. But I’m trying not to give up.
Today I went to the store and got some of that fancy paint to write on my car windows. Now my poor little Saab is decked out with “Protect all families!” “Vote No On Hate!” and “Vote No On Prop 8!”
If I have the energy, I’m going to make a sign and go stand on the corner of the major intersection near where we live during rush hour to try to get some visibility as well.
I’m also sending out emails pleading with friends and neighbors not just to give the proposition their vote, but to talk to their friends and families. Our dear friends across the street (a hetero couple) even told me to paint their car windows!
So please, if you’re reading this and you live or know anyone who lives in California, please help us with our fight for equal rights. My family deserves the same protections as all other families and I don’t think we’re going to be able to do it without you!
And just in case, we registered for our marriage license today and are gonna get hitched before 11/4/08. If we can’t win outright, as least we’ll muddy the waters by being one of the many couples who were married while it was legal!
(I was trying to find a more eloquent way to tie this in, but I’m too tired! My pal Meg, a married momma, has made an amazing blog to show her support of No On Prop 8. Please visit it, pass it along to your friends, post it on your blog. Every little bit helps! My family needs you!)
This morning I was awakened (btw: it took me 10 minutes to figure out if I should use awakened or woken!) by my doctor who came into my room to tell me I was all clear to leave the hospital.
Other than my platelets and my hemoglobin, which both remain a little low, all of my other numbers are in the low average to average range. So no more low white blood cell counts and having to watch what I eat and who I touch! Woot woot!
Unfortunately the low hemoglobin means I’m a bit exhausted and due to the neupogen shots I feel like my legs have been beat with baseball bats (apparently white blood cells are made in your leg bones and the ache is a sign that your body is producing them, so it’s good, I guess!). Thankfully a friend is in town helping with Oliver, which is a godsend right now as Daddy can barely take care of himself right now!
Speaking of My Little Giant: when he saw Daddy (whom he calls ‘mama’!) he got a huge smile on his face, crawled into my lap, and gave me a hug! The kid is giving hugs! It’s really quite adorable, especially since up until now he’s not been an overly affectionate little guy. He’d prefer to be exploring the world than cuddling.
As of now all I have to do is recuperate. My numbers should only continue to climb. In the middle of November I have to go through restaging again, which means another bone marrow biopsy and PET/CT scan. But I’ll deal with that when the time come!
Thanks again for all your encouraging words and comments! They definitely helped to pass the time. Although honestly this time I was so sick (apparently I had a bacterial infection in my blood and/or something called sepsis) that I ended up sleeping a good deal of the time. Sunday was the only day I felt a little stir crazy and that wasn’t so bad.
So back to living!
As my luck would have it, there’s been a slight detour on my road to recovery. As of Tuesday, October 14th I had started to feel like something wasn’t quiet right with my body. I even went to bed early that night because I was so exhausted.
At the time I was just blaming it on depression because earlier that day I did my habitual tug on my new hair growth and this time a bunch of hair came out with it. Of course, this made perfect sense, because it takes about seven to ten days for the chemo to fully affect my body, everything from hair to blood. But because I hadn’t seen nary a hair fall out since I’d finished the last round of chemo, I thought perhaps I had somehow dodged that bullet. Nope.
So being in a depressed state and feeling exhausted anyway, I went to bed early. I had an fitful night of sleep with the same strange dream over and over and kept waking up with an awful neck and head ache. I didn’t feel like I had a fever so I took something and went back to bed.
By the time I woke in the morning I realized I had a low-grade fever. I took something for it again and went back to bed, hoping, well, for a miracle I guess.
That miracle didn’t happen and by midday I was on my way to ER where I spent the next eight hours while they did lab tests and confirmed my low blood count, which meant I had to be admitted.
My poor luck again would have them having confirmed that I needed to be admitted at around 7pm, which is shift change.
Nothing happens at shift change.
So they told me I had to lay there for another hour or so while the nursing staff changed over on the floor to where I was being admitted. This was especially uncomfortable because the ER wasn’t showing much interest in me after it had been confirmed that I was being admitted and for almost two hours no one even bothered to poke their head into my little solitary confinement room. Neither did they want to give me any pain medicine (I had a killer headache) but instead insisted I wait until l was admitted. It was a less than pleasant experience.
The next two days (Thursday and Friday) I spent pretty much in bed and under sedation. I had such an awful headache that they thought they were going to have to do a scan. I also kept getting really high fevers (like 104!) which are incredibly uncomfortable. Thank goodness for good pain medicine!
So here it is Saturday evening and I haven’t had a fever since last night and the headaches have stopped as well. I’ve had a couple of blood transfusions to boost my hemoglobin; three platelet transfusions to help those little guys out; and neupogen shots to help my white blood cells recuperate. I’m also getting A LOT of different antibiotics, which is contributing to a general state of nausea.
Hopefully I’ll be out of here on Monday and finally on the road to recovery.
Can you hear the crickets?
It seems whenever I post something political on my blog it goes deafeningly quiet. Which I guess I’ll take as y’all having either no opinion or contrary opinions and hence being respectful and doing what your momma’s taught you: not saying anything.
I just wanted to clarify that, although I am a Taurus, I would respect and try to appreciate all comments, even those contrary to my own. So please don’t feel intimidated about voicing an opposing viewpoint. My partner is French after all, so I’m getting used to some healthy debate.
Yesterday Lori asked what the difference between a “marriage” and a “domestic partnership”. Although I’m not a lawyer, in California, a domestic partnership has most of the same benefits as marriage (I can’t find the cheat sheet I used to have stating the rights not granted, but there are some we don’t get, including federal rights). So why isn’t a domestic partnership good enough? Why all the hoopla about marriage?
For me (and many other gays and lesbians), domestic partnerships are second best. They don’t offer all the same rights as marriage. And as anyone who is discriminated against can attest, separate is not equal.
Having said that, here’s a great video. I’m not sure if they’re using it for TV or not, but I think they should. It’s as proposterous as the claims that if Prop 8 fails and hence gays and lesbians are allowed to marry, that churches would lose their tax exempt status and all childrent would be taught about homosexuality in schools (although I think it should be given equal air time, but the proposition doesn’t have anything to do with that).
Someday, when Laurent and I are ready to take that emotional trip down the aisle and unite in marriage, that opportunity should be afforded to us. Imagine what it would be like for Oliver to see us legally wed, with the same rights as everyone else. Civil partnerships are not the same thing as legal marriage, and legal marriage should simply be the union of two people who love and are committed to one another.
All people should be treated equally under the law, with dignity and respect. If we are ever to move our country forward, we need to reject the discriminatory practices of the past and embrace our differences and unique individual gifts. And marriage equality is key to that future.
Regardless of where you are reading this from, I hope you’ll consider joining the fight against Prop 8.
Here is how you can support me and my family:
-If you are a resident of California, Vote NO on Hate. Vote NO on 8. (A YES vote would support the constitutional amendment and would FOREVER define marriage as between a man and a woman.)
-Regardless of where you are reading this from, talk or email your friends and families in California and ask them to help.
-Regardless of where you are reading this from, if you have a blog, write a post about your feelings about Prop 8. You never know who will be reading it!
-and finally, DONATE! More money means more advertising, which, unfortunately is what usually wins elections.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and to support my family and me.
While not sleeping last night (seriously, I slept for maybe 4 hours last night), I kept thinking about how much I’d like to sew something for him (other than the jeans that are on the cutting table). I also kept thinking about how it needed to be something relatively easy (unlike a lot of the Ottobre patterns I have, which require tracing the pattern from the book, copying onto fabric, cutting out, figuring out, etc.).
Then I remembered this tutorial at Habitual. Voila! I had my instant gratification sewing for Oliver!
So this morning after he went down for his nap, I created this for My Little Giant for this hot day ahead of us (it’s supposed to get to near 100 degrees again today!):
Could I have asked for a better “model” look on his face?!
Now off to find something cool to do…