Archive for the ‘Queer Issues’ Category


May 26, 2009

A bit ago the California Supreme Court ruled to uphold the ban on same-sex marriages while at the same time upholding that the couples who married from June through November were still married.

Part of me is obviously saddened by the news and another part of me is relieved for my own marriage (and mostly for the implications for our family and our son).

I have no doubt this is just another battle in the war to equal rights.

Regardless, the victory for my family is bittersweet.

Out Of Minutes?

February 24, 2009

You don’t have to call Pepsi, you can GO HERE and fill out an online letter that’s sent to Pepsi.  Took me about 30 seconds!

Good For You Pepsi!

February 23, 2009

I believe it keeping my friends close, but my enemies closer, so I belong to a couple of email lists for groups such as The American Family Association (which is CLEARY a misnomer!).

I got this email from them today.  (My comments are in red…)

Pepsi produces another TV ad promoting gay lifestyle

Company combines promotion of Pepsi and homosexual lifestyle

February 23, 2009

Dear Frank,

Pepsi has produced another TV ad not only promoting Pepsi but also promoting the gay lifestyle. Click here to see the ad.

Pepsi had released a similar ad before. The ads serve two purposes for Pepsi: to sell Pepsi and to promote the homosexual lifestyle (Hey Don, it’s a LIFE, not a lifestyle!). AFA asked Pepsi to remain neutral in the culture war (much like you and your revolting organization are remaining neutral?), but the company refused – choosing to support the homosexual activists.

Pepsi has made no effort to hide their support for the homosexual agenda:

  • Pepsi gave a total of $1,000,000 to the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) and Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) to promote the homosexual lifestyle in the workplace.
  • Both HRC and PFLAG supported efforts in California to defeat Proposition 8 which defined marriage as being between a man and a woman. HRC, which received $500,000 from Pepsi, gave $2.3 million to defeat Proposition 8.
  • Pepsi forces employees to attend sexual orientation and gender diversity training where the employees are taught to accept homosexuality. (GASP!  Were they also required to participate in a hands-on lab?!)
  • Pepsi is a member of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.

Take Action!

  • Sign the Boycott Pepsi Pledge. After signing the pledge, please call Pepsi (914-253-2000 or 1-800-433-2652) and tell the company you will boycott their products until they stop promoting the homosexual agenda.
  • Call the Pepsi bottler nearest you and ask it to stop supporting the homosexual agenda.
  • Pepsi’s products include Pepsi soft drinks, Frito-Lay chips and snacks (800-352-4477), Quaker Oats (800-367-6287), Tropicana (800-237-7799) and Gatorade (800-884-2867).
  • Print the Boycott Pepsi Pledge and distribute it.
  • Forward this e-mail to your friends and family so they will know about Pepsi’s support of the homosexual agenda. Millions of people are not aware of Pepsi’s support of homosexual organizations.

Thanks for the heads-up Don!  I will definitely be calling Pepsi (and Frito-Lay and Quaker Oats and Tropicana and Gatorade!) to THANK THEM for having the courage to stand up to bullies like you and your ilk!


November 18, 2008

That’s all I can say!

After Obama won on the 4th, I missed out on feeling the least bit celebratory due to Prop 8.  But after reading his Agenda for Civil Rights (scroll down to “Support For The LGBT Community), I’m feeling a bit less left out and a bit more like there may be cause to celebrate!

I’m not ecstatic to see him pushing for “civil unions” for us, but in the end, if it gives us equal state and federal rights and benefits, he can call it “a horse” for all I care.


This Is About The Human Heart

November 11, 2008

Keith Olberman presented an amazing plea to his viewers last night.  I can’t figure out how to embed it, but you can go here and watch it or read the transcript below.

It’ll come as no surprise that I bawled like a baby during some parts.  Hit too close to home.

Finally tonight as promised, a Special Comment on the passage, last week, of Proposition Eight in California, which rescinded the right of same-sex couples to marry, and tilted the balance on this issue, from coast to coast.

Some parameters, as preface. This isn’t about yelling, and this isn’t about politics, and this isn’t really just about Prop-8. And I don’t have a personal investment in this: I’m not gay, I had to strain to think of one member of even my very extended family who is, I have no personal stories of close friends or colleagues fighting the prejudice that still pervades their lives.

And yet to me this vote is horrible. Horrible. Because this isn’t about yelling, and this isn’t about politics.

This is about the… human heart, and if that sounds corny, so be it.

If you voted for this Proposition or support those who did or the sentiment they expressed, I have some questions, because, truly, I do not… understand. Why does this matter to you? What is it to you? In a time of impermanence and fly-by-night relationships, these people over here want the same chance at permanence and happiness that is your option. They don’t want to deny you yours. They don’t want to take anything away from you. They want what you want — a chance to be a little less alone in the world.

Only now you are saying to them — no. You can’t have it on these terms. Maybe something similar. If they behave. If they don’t cause too much trouble. You’ll even give them all the same legal rights — even as you’re taking away the legal right, which they already had. A world around them, still anchored in love and marriage, and you are saying, no, you can’t marry. What if somebody passed a law that said you couldn’t marry?

I keep hearing this term “re-defining” marriage.

If this country hadn’t re-defined marriage, black people still couldn’t marry white people. Sixteen states had laws on the books which made that illegal… in 1967. 1967.

The parents of the President-Elect of the United States couldn’t have married in nearly one third of the states of the country their son grew up to lead. But it’s worse than that. If this country had not “re-defined” marriage, some black people still couldn’t marry…black people. It is one of the most overlooked and cruelest parts of our sad story of slavery. Marriages were not legally recognized, if the people were slaves. Since slaves were property, they could not legally be husband and wife, or mother and child. Their marriage vows were different: not “Until Death, Do You Part,” but “Until Death or Distance, Do You Part.” Marriages among slaves were not legally recognized.

You know, just like marriages today in California are not legally recognized, if the people are… gay.

And uncountable in our history are the number of men and women, forced by society into marrying the opposite sex, in sham marriages, or marriages of convenience, or just marriages of not knowing — centuries of men and women who have lived their lives in shame and unhappiness, and who have, through a lie to themselves or others, broken countless other lives, of spouses and children… All because we said a man couldn’t marry another man, or a woman couldn’t marry another woman. The sanctity of marriage. How many marriages like that have there been and how on earth do they increase the “sanctity” of marriage rather than render the term, meaningless?

What is this, to you? Nobody is asking you to embrace their expression of love. But don’t you, as human beings, have to embrace… that love? The world is barren enough.

It is stacked against love, and against hope, and against those very few and precious emotions that enable us to go forward. Your marriage only stands a 50-50 chance of lasting, no matter how much you feel and how hard you work.

And here are people overjoyed at the prospect of just that chance, and that work, just for the hope of having that feeling. With so much hate in the world, with so much meaningless division, and people pitted against people for no good reason, this is what your religion tells you to do? With your experience of life and this world and all its sadnesses, this is what your conscience tells you to do?

With your knowledge that life, with endless vigor, seems to tilt the playing field on which we all live, in favor of unhappiness and hate… this is what your heart tells you to do? You want to sanctify marriage? You want to honor your God and the universal love you believe he represents? Then Spread happiness — this tiny, symbolic, semantical grain of happiness — share it with all those who seek it. Quote me anything from your religious leader or book of choice telling you to stand against this. And then tell me how you can believe both that statement and another statement, another one which reads only “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

You are asked now, by your country, and perhaps by your creator, to stand on one side or another. You are asked now to stand, not on a question of politics, not on a question of religion, not on a question of gay or straight. You are asked now to stand, on a question of…love. All you need do is stand, and let the tiny ember of love meet its own fate. You don’t have to help it, you don’t have it applaud it, you don’t have to fight for it. Just don’t put it out. Just don’t extinguish it. Because while it may at first look like that love is between two people you don’t know and you don’t understand and maybe you don’t even want to know…It is, in fact, the ember of your love, for your fellow **person…

Just because this is the only world we have. And the other guy counts, too.

This is the second time in ten days I find myself concluding by turning to, of all things, the closing plea for mercy by Clarence Darrow in a murder trial.

But what he said, fits what is really at the heart of this:

“I was reading last night of the aspiration of the old Persian poet, Omar-Khayyam,” he told the judge.

“It appealed to me as the highest that I can vision. I wish it was in my heart, and I wish it was in the hearts of all:

“So I be written in the Book of Love;

“I do not care about that Book above.

“Erase my name, or write it as you will,

“So I be written in the Book of Love.”(Source)

Prop 2 Meets Prop 8

November 6, 2008

About California Amendments

More “No On Prop 8” Fun

October 10, 2008

Can you hear the crickets?

It seems whenever I post something political on my blog it goes deafeningly quiet.  Which I guess I’ll take as y’all having either no opinion or contrary opinions and hence being respectful and doing what your momma’s taught you: not saying anything.

I just wanted to clarify that, although I am a Taurus, I would respect and try to appreciate all comments, even those contrary to my own.  So please don’t feel intimidated about voicing an opposing viewpoint.  My partner is French after all, so I’m getting used to some healthy debate.

Yesterday Lori asked what the difference between a “marriage” and a “domestic partnership”.  Although I’m not a lawyer, in California, a domestic partnership has most of the same benefits as marriage (I can’t find the cheat sheet I used to have stating the rights not granted, but there are some we don’t get, including federal rights).  So why isn’t a domestic partnership good enough?  Why all the hoopla about marriage?

For me (and many other gays and lesbians), domestic partnerships are second best.  They don’t offer all the same rights as marriage.  And as anyone who is discriminated against can attest, separate is not equal.

Having said that, here’s a great video.  I’m not sure if they’re using it for TV or not, but I think they should.  It’s as proposterous as the claims that if Prop 8 fails and hence gays and lesbians are allowed to marry, that churches would lose their tax exempt status and all childrent would be taught about homosexuality in schools (although I think it should be given equal air time, but the proposition doesn’t have anything to do with that).

California’s Prop 8

October 9, 2008
As I’m sure you are aware, the California Supreme Court recently recognized that the right of all Californians to marry is a constitutional one, and anything less is discriminatory.  What you may not know is that a proposition on the November ballot will ELIMINATE marriage equality, taking that right away, and incorporate discrimination into our state’s constitution.
Unfortunately, current polls indicate that Prop 8 is likely to pass, and the forces behind this proposition have amassed a war chest filled with money from outside the state.  We must fight back, and I urge you to take action to fight this discriminatory effort.

Someday, when Laurent and I are ready to take that emotional trip down the aisle and unite in marriage, that opportunity should be afforded to us. Imagine what it would be like for Oliver to see us legally wed, with the same rights as everyone else. Civil partnerships are not the same thing as legal marriage, and legal marriage should simply be the union of two people who love and are committed to one another.

All people should be treated equally under the law, with dignity and respect. If we are ever to move our country forward, we need to reject the discriminatory practices of the past and embrace our differences and unique individual gifts. And marriage equality is key to that future.

Regardless of where you are reading this from, I hope you’ll consider joining the fight against Prop 8.

Here is how you can support me and my family:

-If you are a resident of California, Vote NO on Hate. Vote NO on 8. (A YES vote would support the constitutional amendment and would FOREVER define marriage as between a man and a woman.)
-Regardless of where you are reading this from, talk or email your friends and families in California and ask them to help.
-Regardless of where you are reading this from, if you have a blog, write a post about your feelings about Prop 8.  You never know who will be reading it!
-and finally, DONATE! More money means more advertising, which, unfortunately is what usually wins elections.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and to support my family and me.


July 18, 2008

Is there hope afterall?

I better not jinx it…

Why I Put Myself Out There

February 15, 2008

I often get asked why I wear my sexuality like “a badge” (Which of course means I don’t hide it. When my heterosexual friends/coworkers talk about their families or have their photos on their desks, it goes unnoticed and taken for granted. But when I talk about my partner or put his photo on my desk, I’m flaunting my sexuality.)

The following is part of the reason (the other part being I love being the center of attention!) why I refuse to be quieted about my life (notice I didn’t say “lifestyle”! It’s a life, not a lifestyle!).

I got this message from someone who reads about my life, my partner, and our struggle to continue building a family.

Ok, I have to tell you something, it’s not meant to be awkard, or mean, or otherwise. You are inspirational to me. All of my life I have been taught religiously and personally against same sex relationships. I have been taught that children need both a mother and a father. But I have to tell you something, your relationship with your partner, and with Oliver, has opened my eyes to a whole new bucket of feelings. Your capacity to love, and the open hearted and armed way that you take on the world as your own has shown me the err in my ways, and to you I must apologize.
BRAVO I say, you’re doing a fabulous job!! If you or your little fella should need anything, please let me know! I’d gladly, were I closer, hold him close, smell baby smell and rock him for a night while you slept, because the most treasured and missed thing in my life is the smell of a baby (that’s the hysterectomy woman in me speaking ROFL)
Again, I sure hope I didn’t offend or hurt you, I mean to only PRAISE you and congratulate and offer nothing but love and glad tidings, for YOU are an example for the world!!!!

That’s what gives me hope for the future and that one day, Oliver’s family won’t seem any different than anyone else’s family.


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